Top response to the guy whose wife won't let him masturbate
There is a laundry list of issues going on here, I’ll see if I can separate out what I see.
The first thing (your size issue) seems relatively minor. As you said before, she used to be able to handle it just fine so it’s highly likely that it is still possible. Have her get checked out by her gynecologist and make sure everything’s on the up & up. Use plenty of lube, take things slow and ramp up from there. If nothing else you guys can think of other things to enjoy in the mean time such as mutual masturbation, oral, handjobs, etc.
She is a self described “feminist” who feels that sex demeans women in a way.
This is a total crock of shit. Sex-negative feminists were a small part of the Second-wave feminist movement and they splintered the movement in many ways by focusing on some minute bullshit. It is in no way representative of the movement as a whole. Fortunately this gave rise to a much more diverse Third-wave feminist movement.
If she’s really using being a “feminist” as an argument for not having sex tell her to read anything about the Divine Female (or female divinity). I also recommend watching (and having her watch) a TED talk/video posted in sexxit a few weeks ago. The speaker here is a woman who I would consider a great feminist but talks about how much she loves being tied up and enjoying rough sex and how that is in no way counter to her strong feminist ideals.
As for her being upset about your masturbation habits, she is not in control of them, it is your business. It might be different if you were neglecting her in favor of masturbating. On your end, you should not have agreed to not look at porn anymore, because that was setting everyone up for failure.
To me it sounds like she is trying to maneuver herself into a position where she has all the power, which isn’t what a relationship (much less a marriage) is all about.
As far as advice, I would:
Tell her your masturbation habits are your own, and if she isn’t willing to participate in sex, she has lost all her voice in your sexual gratification and identity
Ask her if she’s willing to visit a doctor and try some new things such as lube or varying types of foreplay to get warmed up
Have her read something about actual feminism and watch that video. Porn stars and women who can bravely admit that they enjoy sex and go after the type of sex they want are doing far more for the cause than her guilt-tripping bullshit.
